My body smells like honey 
from the flower pressed between its pages
Sweet aroma covering up the death of an innocent
whose journey’s cut short 
by Fate in five fingers

The pleasure it gives is a two letter word
S&M - smoke and mirrors -
nothing drops my priorities quicker,
steals value from words of promise,
leads me no closer to God, or you 

At night I pleasure myself
Unlock the chamber in my head unleashing ecstasy in my veins
Send fingers to soften the quell
so easy
it’s almost comical

Afterwords, once my breathing is hushed
I open my mouth to taste what I’ve been chasing
And come up against air 

Even viewed from the peak
if I bothered to look down,
I see myself standing right where I started from
Circles circling circles,
Am I not dizzy enough?