Happiness hangs like a guillotine 
dangling above my neck
Each stray chord of laughter 
weight against the straining rope 
staying my execution
for how much longer? 

I'm playing with the Devil's hand 
Doffing the hats of judge, jury, and executioner
I "oh" my mouth 
along with the crowd,
shocked and aroused in equal measure 

Knowingly skirting this razor's edge 
does anything turn the senses on more
than the anticipation of pain
not yet here?  
 
maybe I'll paint a pretty picture
when my head hits the ground 
maybe all that happiness is
is staying one step behind the future


Photo of Yakuo-ji Temple in Hiwasa by Terumi Azuma